I Once Pooed My Pants In A Broccoli Field

I Once Pooed My Pants In A Broccoli Field

by Jonny Blair

With travelling comes strange and amusing stories. This one, though slightly disgusting just highlights the amusement you can look back on, and in this case laugh at myself a couple of years down the line. Did I really shit myself in a broccoli field? Yes!

A few years back I landed a job working on a number of broccoli farms in Tasmania, I was all over the place on unknown and remote farms and II genuinely had fun doing it!

If you've ever done processed or manual broccoli cutting you will know that a tractor follows you down the countless paddocks of broccoli, you just cut it as fast as you can and throw it into the crates on the tractor. The thing is, once you start a row, you have to go to the end. There is no respite - so basically carry water in your pocket and sip it at the end of each row, where you can also go to the toilet if you need. Admittedly this is much easier for guys.

On this particular day I was working out at East Sassafras in the north of Tasmania. It was a massive farm. While cutting we worked our way up a large hill, beyond which you disappeared into wilderness and were miles from your base (at your base you park your car, eat lunch and there's even a portable toilet). At this point I was an experienced broccoli cutter.

I remember the date - 18th March 2010 as the night before I had partied in the local pub Molly Malone's with Chaz Fitzsimmons a fellow Northern Irishman. It was St. Patrick's Night.

The morning ran smoothly however and from 7am to 1pm we worked before having a quick lunch. Just after lunch and we had got half way through a long row of broccoli when I realised I needed a shit - yes it was ready to come out. Our boss was Rebecca Gaby and she was alongside us that day so I shouted over to her that I needed to go. So off I went - initially running all the way towards the portable toilet before realising it was too far to go, so time had beaten me...

Everything came out at once in the broccoli paddock and my trousers, boots and pants had been left over to the side. I tried using leaves to clean my ass but it wasn't enough so I used my underpants to wipe it and dumped them behind a tree near a fence. At this point my team came back up and appeared at the top of the hill. Half naked, I quickly put my jeans and waterproofs back on and ran back to continue cutting the broccoli!

It was a decent day in the field apart from that incident. That night, I obviously washed all of my clothes, suddenly admitting that I couldn't tell the difference between mud and shit. Don't Stop Living!



Want to find out more about <a href='http://dontstopliving.net/'>broccoli farming travel stories</a>, then visit Jonny Blair's site on how to work and travel <a href='http://dontstopliving.net/the-day-i-did-a-shit-in-a-broccoli-field/'>with the odd shit broccoli story </a> around the world.

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